Through The Waters

Happy Canada Day everyone!  Glad to be able to celebrate this great holiday with so many and to see so many patriotic folks out with flags and painted faces, red and white coordinated outfits and such a plethora of cool Canadian t-shirts that as someone remarked tonight, they must have come close to running out of red dye this year.  150 years old as a country!  Quite remarkable and yet quite young really.  It was a splendid morning to spend down at the tall ships, to tour the amazing ship from Holland, to get a bit of sun and wind on our faces, to spend time with friends, reinforcing bonds of friendship which will and have carried us through these last weeks.  I am SO thankful for my friends, new and old, casual and true.  Without their help, I would have been lonely, stuck at home, grocery-less, Fathers Day gift-less, Canada Day T-shirt-less, and foodless.  Yet, they have made life so much more - doing little and big things along the way, texts t...

It's Thursday afternoon...five weeks to the day of Black Thursday... the day of our devastating diagnosis - all these odd little anniversaries that we're remembering over the last weeks.  First week of having a PICC line, first week post-op, 22 weeks old for Ava, Three weeks of work for Timothy.  Time has this funny way of creeping alone and yet advancing faster than you imagine.  I've thought somehow that these two weeks at home since surgery would be slow but most days have been filled with visits or appointments or some or the other paperwork or email to do relating to the diagnosis, whether that be filling out day care forms or insurance papers or pension questionnaires.  Always something to do.  A home care visit takes about a half hour a day or so.  I'm waiting for Timothy to be home soon with Martha.  She's been going full time to our amazing regular sitter for the summer - she loves it a tonne there which we are grateful with - leaving us somet...

A quiet morning.. not sure if I remember what that's like.  Everyday since being home has involved visits and appointments and other things, which are good and necessary and encouraging, but this morning is the first morning that it has been very quiet and laid back.  My wonderful home care nurse came very early this morning and even wrapped me up to have a shower (you have no idea what it's like to have to be dependent on other people for even silly things like taking a shower... it's very hard to wrap your own arm up so that the water doesn't get in the PICC line and into the abdominal wound (we're going through a lot of shopping bags to keep the wound dry).  I usually look a bit like something sci-fi by the time I'm ready to finally jump in the shower.  The nurse changed my abdominal dressing this morning and since we've changed the dressing method up a few days ago, things look less mucky and drainage is much less, however, there are still a few area...

It's almost 11 on Sunday evening... it's been a busy day (at times) and I'm glad to be sitting in our living room with feet up and a chance to ponder the day.  It was a blessing to be able to wake up feeling well enough on a gorgeous Sunday morning, to join the communion of the saints at Rehoboth and sit under the preaching of the Word.  I feel so much love from everyone there and it's like coming home, but at the same time, it's busy and tiring and I do have a hard time focusing (particularly when it comes to battling a two-year-old who thinks the church pew is a perfect place to display the bottom of her sandal to the three benches behind or crunches her pepperpints so loudly that I'm sure the other side of the church can hear - maybe that's just me being paranoid, or having intensely whispered discussions on the consequences of  not listening to Mommy in the midst of prayer, ending in loud protestations.)  I do love the praying and the singing and that tr...

It's Saturday evening here in the Meadows... the birds are singing their evening songs, made sweet by the beautiful weather that filled our day today.  There is quiet music playing on the stereo, Timothy is sitting across from me catching up on the news of the world (i feel like i have no clue what's going on in the outside world at present) and Martha is tucked into bed.  Ava's making her presence known now and then with little kicks. And we're expecting friends to be dropping in tonight... Timothy just reminded me that the blog was supposed to be called "The top of the cupboard".  When i questioned him as to why this needed to be the title, he told me i needed to compose a poem about the top of our linen cupboard.  Over the years, this space has become the traditional holding place for gifts that i pick up over the years, things on sale or things bought early, but for birthdays or things that i know are perfect for certain people. The top of the cupboard be...

Wow, another week has somehow managed to fly/drag by.  Not sure how that happens but somehow the hours of each day just fill up with visits and emails and texts and appointments and before you know it, the first full week of being at home is nearly complete.  It has gone relatively well, pain has been pretty well controlled and I'm trying my best to work off of some of the medications that I've been on.  Sometimes you just keep taking something because you don't think about it but all medications have side effects and some of those side effects are none too pleasant so the less meds, the better in my opinion.   And so again, day by day the plans change.  We read tonight at devotions from Matthew about the wise man building his house on the rock - and Martha piped up that she knew a song about that so a raucous version of the wise man built his house upon the rock broke out, followed by "How Firm a Foundation" (my choice) and I was struck by the words of that ...

Just when you thought it would be two full days without an update, here i come, writing from my cozy electric lazy boy chair with the fan blowing on my face and a sweater on (yes, there are some major temperature dichotomies in my life right now... another great one, a hot bean bag and the ceiling fan whirring away like it was going to take off - i think it's the pain meds that are messing up my internal thermostat).  I do appreciate that the last two days have been much more manageable temperature wise, especially for someone who doesn't enjoy sweating when i raise my water glass to my lips or use my muscles to smile! Hmm... what's been going on, you might wonder... well, enjoying being at home for one.  So nice to wake up in my own bed, even if it is frequently, and listen to familiar home noises, Timothy breathing beside me, birds starting earlier and earlier it seems with their greeting of the morning, Martha up early since she can now crawl out of her big bed (we'...