Through The Waters

       Puzzles.  Something I have always enjoyed.  The very almost hypnotic, comforting and very process full rummaging through the open puzzle box in order to locate the edges, to find that elusive last edge piece, to put together patterns and blocks of colour and eventually to fit those pieces together bit by bit, sometimes painstakingly, sometimes easily, sometimes frustratingly to create a total image or picture.  It's so super satisfying when you finally push in that last piece and you see the picture whole in front of you, after hours or maybe even days of trying to figure out the pattern.  You run your hand over the completed puzzle and it's pretty neat and tidy and organized....and by now, I'm rambling on with the best of them.  The last few weeks have really gotten the puzzle bug in me to work.  I'm not sure if it's been due to the weather, so up and down or due to the fact that I've been waiting by the phone (not always so patiently) for phone calls

     It's early Saturday morning, and we've been up in our household here for at least an hour.  It started with a basket full of baby gurgles and happy laughter beside our bed, which triggered the all familiar door squeak of Martha's door handle as she dragged her stuffies and blanket into our room to attempt to worm in between us in our bed and aah, yes, the blissful idea of a Saturday morning sleep in is dashed into pieces.  But I must admit, I love sleepy snuggles and soft breathing and a hug from our oldest daughter.  And the lovely smiles that are happy that Mom has finally brought a bottle after sleeping mostly through the night.  Yes, she's getting a little more reliable as far as sleeping - will go from 10:30/11-anywhere between 4:30-7:30.  So not quite the middle of the night, endless exhausting every two hours feeding.  And you can tell she's getting fed enough, the rolls are getting bigger, cheeks are filling in and she's so, so busy.  Never s

         It's early, 6:17 am to be precise and yet, sleep is elusive this early dark morning.  I've been lying in bed for an hour now and savoring the feel of my husband's hand in mine (he probably didn't even know he was holding my hand - I'm sneaky like that) and listening to the breathing of our baby, her soft sighs and occasional rustling in her basket are comforting sounds.  Tonight was peaceful, not like the previous one when the kids seemed to sense our own restlessness, our own dreads, our own fears sweating out of our pores, and they were up every two hours like clockwork, then a bottle, then a wet bed.  I will admit to being a bit of a pessimist (?) at times, knowing that in our hearts we were restless because we were waiting - back to waiting, waiting to know what the CT has shown, almost not daring to hope, praying for peace, for miracles, for calm, for the ability to rest in the Lord.  Yet fears creep in, doubts tug at our minds, fear of the unknown,