Through The Waters

All is calm, all is bright...       I have a precious few minutes before the day begins, before doors creak open and our daughter makes her way into our room saying "it's day, Mommy", despite the darkness of our Canadian winter, before the routines of breakfast and getting dressed and the busyness of life sets in.  It's good to sit, here in the dark, in front of the tree and think.  Words of carols have been tossing through my brain a lot the last weeks.  As the Christmas season slowly moves forward, I've got a lot of thoughts about many things.  It's been a while since the last update and that for good reason - somehow, to afford the luxury of sitting down and letting your ideas and such spill out of you onto the virtual page, is a difficult thing to manage.  It seems strange, being that I'm not working, maybe, but with a two and a half month old baby (gaack, where does the time go?  How is she so old already?), a very busy active three year old and l

I know it's been a little bit since there's been an update... and I think I'll chalk that up to the busy Christmas season and life with two little ones and chemo and all those things that make up our lives lately.  As I type today, it's definitely a bit of a challenge owing to the fact that I am on two different chemo drugs that have conflicting side effects.  One drug makes my hands and virtually all other parts of me very sensitive to cold - so that if I touch a cold door handle or a key or step on a cold floor, there are feelings like shocks that run through my hands or feet.  On our way to Martha's Christmas program the other night, I had to park blocks away (should've clued in that there would be a lot of people there) and carry Ava with me and I have never been so glad to see my dear friend Laura who helped me trek up to the church.  By the time I made it inside, due to panic of being late and the cold cold air, my throat was having spasms that made it har

   Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright... the baby is swinging away, Martha is tucked into her bed after another tumultuous suppertime and I'm here... with quiet music on, the Christmas tree tucked into the corner keeping me company and lending a comforting, still, aromatic and seasonal presence to the room.  It's the Christmas season, it's descending upon us with great speed - the stores are filled with decorations and holiday music and there are lights popping up everywhere and we tend to get caught up with the busyness of the season - so many articles are written about trying to tame the crazy Christmas season and to remember the reason for the season.       And though our house is slowly beginning to look a lot like Christmas, it's a different flavour this year.  It's a bit more of a sobering flavour, a bit of a dark reality that lurks just beyond the glow of the lights.  The knowledge of what we are facing, what we are battling, what has be