CT ponderings...

Whirling, whizzing, spinning

Revolving, searching, delving

Delving deep inside me

Inside my very tissues

Seeking, probing for darkness

As I lie on this table

in this circle of energy

And ponder what it will find

Anxious thoughts rise up

And threaten to overwhelm the hum

The whirring round my body

Searching for the enemy within

Hiding in cells, tissues, organs

Causing an inward chaos

And Disorder

And yet there is One who knows

me intricately, inside and out

Not only my physical body

But my wounded, spiritual self

My inner spirit weary and worn

Appearances can be deceiving

Be forewarned

As anxiety rises with each spin

of this whirling machine

Peace, be still, echoes across

the expanses of my thoughts

And I breathe, as instructed

As created, as ordained

A breath of life amidst

The fear of the unknown.

     Some musings and wanderings of the mind as I lay under the shadow of the CT yesterday.  Yes, there have been a few changes since last writing.  Monday afternoon I developed a fever again and ended up in the Cancer Centre to be assessed.  I was also struggling with increased abdominal pain and discomfort, especially in the liver area.  Always worrisome, what is that?  Why is it there?  My scar has also been bothering me more - what is that now also?  Always questions.  So after some bloodwork which was just fine, no low white count this time, and a chest xray which was clear, I was sent home to rest and take some Tylenol as needed.  As I curled up in bed on Tuesday afternoon for a nap, I received a call that the CT date had been changed... to Wednesday afternoon.  Quite a change from the 14th of February...less time to stress and get frantic about things so maybe in the end, a good thing.  So off we went for CT yesterday afternoon and we will find out next Wednesday the results.  So a bit of a wait as well, not entirely great for the mind, but it's good to keep busy and distracted as we wait, and hope and pray for good results.  We appreciate all the prayers and thoughts out there for us and we continue to wait on our God for His mercies, for His plans, for His ways...