Naptime and goodbyes...

     It's nearly 4 pm and here I am, quietly tucked in my room, hiding out on a comfy chair, having sleep fluttering around in my brain but somehow refusing to obey its clarion call to relax and renew.  I just can't let go all the way so this will be a short little post to share a few verses of Scripture that have taken on a new meaning for us as we heard them softly and gently shared with us last evening.  It's amazing how those verses have been there all along and yet take on new meaning and deeper meaning as this journey continues onward.  I hope that these words may take a root in my soul and mind to encourage, to strengthen, to provide comfort. 

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak,¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(2 Corinthians 4:7-18)

     Such a rich image - treasure in jars of clay - a reminder of the breakableness, the fragility, the impermanence of the life that is ours to lead.  God is working in me, in my body which is weakening daily - the muscles in my legs are waning, despite exercises to fight  against this, arms are not as strong to be able to dry my hair and reach for my baby and to lift my children close to my heart for cuddles, and yet... we do our best each day to pray for strength, for mobility.  I love the contrast of verse 11 and 12 - that death is at work in me - which it is and life is at work in you - praying that the Lord's work may continue in my family, in my friends, in my church community which have been surrounding us with love and life.  The card that brought the words most close to me today was about coming home - that in time, very soon perhaps, I will be called home, an eternal home, a final resting place and that is a bittersweet thing - I long to be here and stay with my family and friends but know it is a far better thing for me to be in heaven, away from the cares and toils of cancer and the fighting against flesh that is no longer strong or whole or dependable.  And we fix our eyes on what is not seen....and we wait for an eternal glory that outweighs them all....how can that be?  That there is a better life beyond this?  We marvel at the incredulousness of this and yet, there is a trust, that God will never give a promise of something that is greater than we could ask or imagine without that being such a true and sure thing.   And so that is where my trust will continue to be, longing for that faith that a child displays - that when we say heaven is beautiful, that is true.  And when we say that God loves us so deeply that we will be with him in that heaven and that Mommy won't have to be sick anymore and Mommy won't suffer or be sad and that we will see each other again when we die, all that is true and trustworthy because we have a good and awesome God.    And yet those goodbyes, those final hugs, final snapshots, final words are so so difficult... how do we say those goodbyes in hope?  In the sure knowledge that we will see each other again?  I pray for that to be true, that I will see my dear friends and family again in the new heavens and earth - that we will know each other yet in a different way and that we will indeed have no more tears or sorrow.   So we say, not goodbye, but maybe a see you later...